Saturday, August 27, 2011

Marriage: The Power of Covenants

Greetings, Beautiful Families..I pray all is well with everyone.

Deuteronomy 7:9 'Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; HE is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

Now, in this post, we are going to discuss the difference between Covenant and Contract. A covenant lays the blueprint of healthy marriages. It is meant to be everlasting, unlike a 'contract' which is based on feelings of self and is usually based on conditions. We will touch on this again in a moment. First, let's touch on just what a covenant is.

Just What Is A Covenant?
  • A covenant Denotes Much More than an ordinary commitment, pledge, or agreement between people.
  • Much more solemn and serious agreement, intended to be binding and unbreakable.
  • An established promise to uniquely bind husband and wife together as one under the headship of Jesus.
  • Our marriage covenant should move us to go to any lengths necessary to love, honor and cherish our spouse for life.
  • Covenant is a term that describes God's unique relationship with HIS creation and carries with it the guarantee of all the benefits and blessings of that relationship.
  • Covenant is how HE chose to demonstrate HIS love and HIS desire to fellowship with HIS creation.
  • Marriage is a covenant and it helps us to understand what God has done, is doing, and will do for us. It is a relationship between each individual and God
  • A covenant is unconditional and unlike a contract does not have an expiration date nor back up plan.
  • A covenant is more about character than convenience, more about giving than receiving.
  • Each individual must be 100% committed to fulfill the promises made when entering the covenant, regardless of how feelings may change or what the other person may do (save physical abuse or unrepentant adultery)

So, What's The Difference Between A Covenant and A Contract

  • Limited Liability (I Do..Until I'm not happy)
  • Conditional in nature (50/50)
  • Selfish (What's In It For Me?)
  • Convenience Based (In Good Times)
  • Specified Period of Time (While It Lasts)
  • Nobody Leaves until terms are met

  • Unlimited Responsibility (No matter what..)
  • Unconditional In Nature (100/100)
  • Selfless (What Can I Do For You?)
  • Commitment Based (At All Times)
  • Forever (Regardless of what comes)
  • Nobody Leaves - Period (Forever..)
Now, here's a little quiz, based on differences above, on a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your ideas of marriage?  Place a small check mark by each that describes your commitment.

 Now, here is the 2nd small quiz, this quiz will help you to take an honest assessment of how you consciously or unconsciously view or have viewed Marriage.

The Quiz:
  • How many couples from the family you grew up in are in their first marriage (over 5 years)? ____
  • How many couples from the family you grew up in divorced? _____
  • Are your parents still married? ______
  • How many of your brothers and sisters have divorced? ______
  • How many couples do you know have divorced more than once? ______
  • How many couples do you know that have cohabited more than once? ____
  • How many close friends do you know have been divorced? _____
My Quiz Answers:
  • 4
  • 4
  • No
  • 1
  • 3
  • 16
  • 2
It took a while for me to understand or admit that these situations influenced my ideal of marriage. At one point, I thought marriage was a joke. I thought it was, 'not for me'. I had the same mentality that I had during my dating phase, 'well if it doesn't work, I'll just go on to the next one, if that doesn't work, I'll just go on to the next one'..and so on and so fourth. I viewed marriage as unimportant because I wasn't shown that it is a spiritual bond that was not meant to be broken. Simply put, I didn't understand that the world and those people didn't have all of the answers about how to do relationships successfully; only God does and He wants to teach us His ways. So, now that I am in a marriage covenant, I understand my level of accountability that I have in influencing those who are not yet married, that this is more than a date with an expiration date. It is more that a courtship, it is a lifetime bond and it's up to us to create a positive thriving environment..have conflict resolution..put selfishness aside and individuality aside and embrace spiritual oneness. What I mean by individuality aside is that it's not all about me and what I want, it's about the best decision for my family according to what God wants.

Funny Story

Here's a funny thing..even in my poutiest moments, my husband says in a calm voice 'when you are finished acting like our 2 year old, come on downstairs and talk, because you know divorce is not an option. You ain't going nowhere and I'm not going nowhere..' I can't help but laugh..Sometimes it's that laugh that is the peace offering that begins the healthy conflict resolution. Divorce is not an option is like our flirty joke of the day, lol...try saying it, it feels great.

 Bottom Line..

 Bottom Line is that how my husband and I work our covenant is that we wrote our covenants to each other, printed them out and posted them on our fridge as reminders of the promises we made..It's like an accountability to each other and in our angriest moments, we have to put ego aside and be reminded of those promises that we made..and I have to be honest, sometimes I just don't want to hear it or see it..I just want to be mad!! But, divorce is not an option and my choice is conflict resolution.

The Power of Covenant..Love you guys

1 comment:

  1. My greetings from France! After visiting your blog, I could not leave without putting a comment.
    I congratulate you on your blog!
    Maybe I would have the opportunity to welcome you on mine too!
    My blog is in french, but on the right is the Google translator!
    good day